"Yeah, well, you know, that's just like, uh, your opinion, man."

Slow Start

16:43 Thursday, 6 February 2014
Words: 86

Off to a slow start blogging this month. Nevertheless, on we go! I was startled by a Green Heron who was apparently startled by me. He flew by and landed in a tree. A lot of branches in the way, but I managed to get a shot or two. Photo of a Green Heron in a tree

Thinking Out Loud

17:24 Friday, 6 February 2015
Words: 82

It's interesting to me that I find it very easy to quickly write comments to the things people link to on Facebook, but I find it much more difficult to begin writing something here, which is where I'd prefer to do most of my writing. I suppose it's the stimulus of a likely audience and the chance for rapid feedback. That's a bit of a double-edged sword, as the immediacy and artificial sense of urgency can lead to some unfortunate misunderstandings.

Silence

17:53 Friday, 6 February 2015
Words: 258

At first, I thought my comfort and enjoyment in experiencing silence was a reaction to many years of working in a very noisy environment. But I've been away from that environment for over twenty months and I still seem to prefer silence than some artificial source of sound, be it television, radio or recorded music. There are no fewer than twenty speakers within 10 feet of me right now, and none of them are emitting any sound. I've even gone through and silenced most of the notifications and alerts from my various computers and mobile devices. The phone still rings, and there's a discreet sound for an iMessage, but nothing else. And that's the way it is for most of the day. Of course, there is a bit of a downside, it sometimes makes my tinnitus much more noticeable. And the sounds from outside the condo are often unwelcome and intrusive. We're doing maintenance and repairs on the exterior steel staircases, so there's the sound of hammers and grinders and the like. On Thursdays, the landscapers come and it's just a cacophony of small internal combustion engines and leaf blowers. On Thursdays, I sometimes do wear headphones. It's anecdotal, so I'm not sure if it's significant though I do find it troubling that there seems to be far fewer Cardinals singing this year. Mockingbirds too. I've been out looking for the Cedar Waxwings, but their numbers have been far below what they had been in years past. Perhaps they've found better places to go. I hope so anyway.

Donna 2015

18:23 Friday, 6 February 2015
Words: 661

Last Sunday, I ran the 26.2 with Donna half marathon (so, perhaps only "13.1 with Donna?"). My legs have been pretty healthy this year, I haven't had any achilles tendonitis or plantar fasciitis to contend with for the first time in a long time. I didn't train as much as I should have, but I did better than the previous two years. One of the things that is somewhat frustrating in running any sort of distance race today, especially ones that are put on in support of causes, is that there are so many runners using the Galloway Method. I want to be supportive, but I really don't enjoy running with them. The Galloway Method is a combination of running and walking that can offer better finish times than running alone for a certain type of runner. Ironically, I'm probably that type of runner, i.e. not especially gifted when it comes to running. Nevertheless, the experience I'm most accustomed to, the one I seem to prefer, is to simply plod along at a consistent pace. The problem comes with the Galloway people and the tendency they have to run in packs of anywhere from two to twenty people. I was planning a 12:30 pace and I was stuck with a similar pace group of Galloway runners. I'd be plodding along, and then there'd be a bunch of electronic beeps, someone who fancied himself a drill sergeant or something bellowing "Running!" and they'd pass me (by the whole bloody clot of them running past me on my right and on my left) on the running cycle of their run/walk. Shortly after they'd pass me, there would be the beeps and the bellow, "Walking!" (Like, what? They can't remember what to do next?) and they'd slow to a walking pace, and I'd have to run around or through them! That slowed me down and was frustrating. Wash-rinse-repeat, every few minutes for over two hours! Adding to the annoyance is the fact that it seems to be a social event for them; and because they're walking for much of the race, they carry on endless conversations! The chatter did diminish as we started running up the overpass over A1A, and the bridge over the Intracoastal Waterway toward the end of the race. At that point I just let them pass me and stay ahead of me. I was a bit spent from running faster than I'd intended for miles 5 - 11, which included the mile on the beach, just trying to get away from them. They were supposedly running a 12:45 pace, though I had to keep up a 12:06 pace to stay ahead of them. On the bridge, my Garmin showed I could still make my 12:30 pace if I just walked and let them get way ahead of me. (Officially, I ran the course at a 12:31 pace. Garmin and RunKeeper showed 12:23 pace over a distance of 13.24 miles.) I'm glad that the Galloway Method™ allows people who might otherwise not run these type of races to get out and participate, but I think they're oblivious to the effect their participation has on other, more conventional, runners. If they had any awareness, perhaps they'd exhibit some consideration and run two abreast in their groups, keep to one side of the course and keep the chatter, the beeping and the bellowing to a minimum. But I'm not holding out much hope. In any event, I'm pretty happy with my performance. Some friends of mine even made a sheet poster they hung from their house and cheered for me as I ran by, that was pretty cool! The weather was just about perfect, and my quads have stopped hurting this morning. Maybe by the time I need to start training for next year, I'll have forgotten about how incredibly annoying the Galloway people are and I'll sign up and do it again.

Bit of Blog

09:26 Thursday, 6 February 2020
Words: 1234

Over halfway through the second month of the year, and nothing heard from the Marmot. Do not be alarmed. I'm still here. A tiny bit of a lesser man, but still here nevertheless. Had my gall bladder removed last Friday. Yep, Valentine's Day. Never let it be said that I don't plan ahead. Had flowers delivered Thursday! Hold your applause. They were very well received. A couple of years ago, I was doing some intermittent fasting, which I'd done before with no ill effects. Except, you know, I don't really follow the recommendations. Most of the diets I'd read about recommended you eat about 200-300 calories on the day you're fasting. I figured, "Screw that! I'm just going to eat nothing!" Which was easier than I thought it might be. The key thing is to keep yourself distracted and drink water from time to time. And I found if I did that, I could lose between one and two pounds a week, as long as I maintained my activity level on fasting days. Cool. But, "diets" don't really work unless you stay on them, and I'd go off after I'd lost ten pounds or so and then I'd gain that back, which isn't good. I was fasting two days a week, Mondays and Thursdays, days not really associated with social dining, except for Thursday once a year, but otherwise it's pretty transparent to your daily life. One remarkable thing I noticed was how much time you devote to eating; and on fasting days, when you're really conscious of time, well, it adds to the challenge a bit. Anyway, started my third go-round with intermittent fasting on a Thursday and as usual, I wake up on Friday morning and have a nice big breakfast of bacon and eggs and toast, probably some avocado, some cheese. Yum! About two hours later, I'm doubled over in pain, feeling like I'm being punched in the stomach. If a stomach punch was a continuous experience. At first I thought it was food poisoning or something. Experience lasted for several hours, finally abated and wow! Hoped that would never happen again! Fasted Monday, Tuesday morning had a big breakfast with different groceries and two hours later, boom! This time I'm on the phone to my doctor and they got me in that day to see someone. They draw some blood and I get a call later that afternoon and the doc tells me (he's a resident, so he consults with an attending) that they considered having me drive to the ER and admitting me. My liver enzymes are off the charts. But there's no other indications, so the plan is to come back the next day and draw some more blood and see what they're doing. I end up chatting with my little sister, Diane, who works for a medical malpractice insurance company, and she says, "It's your gall bladder. Get it out!" She'd had her gall bladder removed several years previously for similar symptoms. I told her the doc had said they thought it might be gall bladder, but they don't see liver enzymes like this with gall bladder. So she gets on her computer and in a couple of hours I have some papers that show an association of gall bladder attacks with high liver enzymes. So I go back in for the blood work, and they'd also scheduled an ultrasound for my liver and gall bladder. Get all that done and then wait for the results. It's Mayo, so they're pretty quick. I get a call back that day from the resident and the good news is the liver enzymes are down - a little. Liver looks good. (Yay, liver!) Gall bladder though, well that thing is full of "sludge" (that's a medical term) and stones and so forth. And they give me a surgical consult. Meet with the surgeon, he says it should come out right away. Well, we were getting ready to go to Ireland for almost two weeks. A lot of lifting of heavy suitcases, pints of beer and so forth, probably not compatible with recovering from surgery. It is laparoscopic, but still. Meanwhile, I'd stopped the fasting and was symptom-free. My theory was that as long as I was eating daily, my clogged up gall bladder could manage to regulate itself such that it wouldn't feel like it was trying to kill me. But if I gave it a day off, it probably filled up a tiny bit more than "usual" and then when it had to suddenly do it's thing, it got all plugged up. We had a couple of weeks before we were supposed to leave, I figured I'd watch what I was eating and see what happened. Didn't want to be in Ireland being sick either, so it was kind of touch and go. But no symptoms as long as I wasn't fasting. So, go to Ireland, had a great time, no problems. Come home, no symptoms, kind of forget about the whole thing. Then last summer, Diane comes to visit us in the Finger Lakes and she asks me about my gall bladder, as sisters do. I told her I still had it and she said, "I told you to get it out. You don't need it and you don't want to know all the horrible things that can go wrong!" So I promised her I'd get it out. Well, we came back from the Finger Lakes, started to move into the new house and then Mitzi broke her wrist! So we do the Mayo thing for her wrist and one walking wounded is enough, so I put the gall bladder on pause. Fast forward to last November, and we realize that Mitzi's wrist has met our max out of pocket for Tricare, and I should probably try to get my gall bladder removed while it would be fully covered (no out of pocket). Things don't happen that fast. Had another surgical consult and the soonest they could get me in was Valentine's Day. So that's what we did! Outpatient surgery, but you do have general anesthesia so there's a bit more to it. Went in at 5:30 a.m., was home by about 1:00 p.m. No heavy lifting for several weeks. Didn't need any narcotics. Took some acetaminophen the first couple of days, felt like a mild stomach ache and an occasional twinge from an incision (there are four). But nothing since. Probably overdid it Saturday, ended up in bed at 4:00 p.m. and stayed there until Sunday morning, but fine since then. Once I'm fully recovered, I'm going to give the intermittent fasting thing a try again. See what happens. I'd like to try the "fast five" thing, where you eat all your calories in a 5-hour period during the day, every day, but that doesn't align very well with the social aspects of eating, and I enjoy breakfast too much. I'd rather have five normal days and two days when I'm unavailable and slightly grumpy. But we'll see. Anyway, I'm still here. One little bit less of me than before, but no big deal. Joni Mitchell comes to mind, "Something's lost and something's gained, in living every day." Who needs a gall bladder anyway? Thanks for stopping by. Hope you're well. I'll be back this way again soon.

Ephemera

13:28 Monday, 6 February 2023
Current Wx: Temp: 46.27°F Pressure: 1028hPa Humidity: 74% Wind: 10.36mph
Words: 651

Certain eastern spiritual traditions adhere to the notion of "the transient nature of all phenomena." Things arise, and they pass, like feelings. Like us.

They also counsel against "attachment," some emotional connection to something that you value perhaps out of proportion to its actual worth.

I've been reminded of these things the past few days as I've struggled with what to do with my image library. I spent a couple of days and deleted over five thousand images. And I still have over 105K images.

One approach I'm considering is printing books of events or subjects, some to give away, others to hang onto. The question I'm trying to resolve is whether to then delete those images from the library, because they're reified into a physical artifact; or should I delete all the images not in the books because they weren't valuable enough to print? Hang onto the digital originals of the printed ones in case someone wants a copy?

The point is, I think I'm spending a little too much time thinking about what to do with this library. This is the snare we get trapped in.

When I was in BAINBRIDGE (CGN-25), we made a port visit to Alexandria, Egypt and I took a tour to Cairo and the pyramids. Took a bunch of 35mm pictures. When I got home, my daughter took them to school to show her friends and lost them.

It's harder to lose things today, which may not be a good thing. Nevertheless, we still lose some. I spent much of yesterday nursing a limping 1TB 7500rpm 2.5 in. disk drive, trying to recover the masters from an old Aperture library. Once upon a time, I had the brilliant idea of uploading only reduced images to iCloud, thinking I could always access the full resolution images locally. Somehow, I seem to have managed to lose most of 2012. But sometime in 2018, I just started letting iCloud have the "originals." I had been maintaining my system library on an external drive, so I wasn't worried about storage and I still had the "original-originals."

In 2019, when I got the iMac with a 1TB SSD, I started using the internal drive, allowing Mac OS to "optimize" storage, keeping only thumbnails locally, while the originals upload to iCloud.

Well, the first book I printed was a 2018 wedding, and I can't find any full resolution originals. Fortunately, it's a book, I'm not printing large. There was only one image I wanted in the book that the software objected to, but I included it anyway. We'll see how it turns out when the book arrives. It's supposedly on its way.

Part of yesterday's effort was to see if I could recover those 2018 images. Alas, no. But I think I've found most of 2012! I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.

I've been printing some at home as well. I just received a large order from Red River Paper. I hope to be printing a lot of cards. I made a couple of large prints of panos I stitched together from drone shots. I think they turned out pretty nice. The question now is, what do I do with them?

My plan, itself a transient phenomenon, for now is to print books of significant events with people I care about. Perhaps one or two of images that pleased me in some way that aren't necessarily associated with an event or people.

If I can accomplish this in a year (and afford it), I think my intention is to simply archive the Photos library on an SSD, stick it in a drawer and forget about it. Get rid of my 2TB tier of cloud storage with Apple. Process every day's images, share them with whomever or however I would share them. And then delete them.

We'll see. I'm not optimistic, but it feels right.

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Serendipity

18:18 Monday, 6 February 2023
Current Wx: Temp: 59.77°F Pressure: 1025hPa Humidity: 64% Wind: 17.27mph
Words: 859

The marmot is made with Tinderbox, the tool for notes. It's a remarkable application, very powerful. I've been using it for about 20 years now, and I've only ever really mastered maybe five percent of it's capabilities.

Partly to learn more about Tinderbox, partly to add some social interaction during the time of COVID, (I know, it's still "the time of COVID.") I started attending the virtual Zoom meetups held on alternating Saturdays and Sundays at noon Eastern US time. It's an eclectic group of really smart people, and it's usually hosted by the developer Mark Bernstein and coordinated or stage-managed by a Tinderbox virtuoso, Michael Becker. Always in attendance is Mark Anderson, perhaps the only other person who rivals Mark Bernstein or Michael Becker in his intimate knowledge of the application.

The user community is very helpful, and I always come away having learned something new about Tinderbox. It's not always something I can use, given my application is mainly the marmot, but I can appreciate the power and flexibility the tool affords.

One of the "big fucking deals" about PKM (personal knowledge management) is linking. I get it, mostly. "It's all about the graph, baby." (Insert Always Sunny in Philadelphia meme here.) But I don't do much linking within the marmot. I'll occasionally link to something I posted on the web, if it's still at the top of my mental stack, or not too many registers deep; but mostly if I link, it's to something someplace else on the web and never an interior link within the file.

There's a sophisticated facility for internal linking within Tinderbox, and it gets a fair amount of attention at the meet-ups. I've appreciated watching the demos, but never felt very excited about anything until today.

In the screenshot below is the view one is afforded of a note when you invoke CMD-7, which is listed only as Links in the Window menu. (I think this should go in the Note menu, but what do I know?) I've seen it demo'ed before, but I've never used it until today.

As the meet-up is going on, I'll often be "multi-tasking," doing something else while Becker is demo'ing a feature at Mach 5. He'd asked attendees to make notes in the chat about things they found interesting or useful, to help him when he wrote up the summary that will accompany the video when it's posted. Someone typed CMD-7 in the chat. I didn't know why that was interesting, so I popped over to the Marmot and hit CMD-7. This is the result:

Screenshot of a Tinderbox note showing the Links panel.

Holy guacamole! I had never seen that before! Or never made the connection, because I never think about internal links. To be clear, I had seen this note view before, but I'd never seen "Suggested" populated with anything that "suggested" it would be relevant to me. Hah! "Little did he know..."

The Marmot, and it's antecedent, Groundhog Day, are basically a stream of consciousness, a "river of views." I seldom revisit a note or a post, with some exceptions. Not because I don't want to, just because what I do here is quick and dirty. Except when it's not, which isn't often. I have an itch to blog something, I scratch it and move on.

“The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,

Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit

Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,

Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.”

(Probably heard this someplace before.)

This "Suggested" column is interesting! Amazing! Wonderful! I was actually compelled to click on those posts. They open up in a little window of the notes text. If you click away from them, they disappear. If you move them, they open up in their entirety in their own little window! You can have as many of them open as there are in the list if you have the screen real estate.

This facility was something of a revelation to me, and it's possible I'm making too much of it. But I think it's tremendously useful in suggesting to me that some of the things I've blogged about before may be relevant to this post. And by clicking on those notes, I get a chance to "see what I thought."

The Marmot is just a blog, it's not a journal, not an intimate conversation with myself. Though, if it were, I could see where this feature might be even more useful as one develops a corpus of some size. The Marmot, as of a few paragraphs ago, was this size:

Screenshot of the Marmot as a Tinderbox document showing its size.

(The "links" are all web links. Nearly all of them outbound.)

377,000 words or thereabouts, it's possible I may have mentioned one or two topics more than once!

Anyway, just surprised and delighted this afternoon. Something that is rather unusual of late, so a happy occasion.

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Deterministic

05:36 Thursday, 6 February 2025
Current Wx: Temp: 60.94°F Pressure: 1020hPa Humidity: 95% Wind: 0mph
Words: 543

I had to ask ChatGPT to help me remember the word "deterministic." Every time I can't recall a name or a word, I worry I'm beginning to show signs of dementia. Sucks getting old.

I'm disappointed that I didn't seem to learn about Dietrich Bonhoeffer until only recently. I do seem to recall passing mentions of him in books I'd read recently about Germany under the Nazis, and that he'd been executed in prison just before the end of the war.

Anyway, I have his bio in the queue, if I can muster the courage to read it, and I'm currently grazing on Letters and Papers From Prison. The opening essay is entitled After Ten Years, A Reckoning made at New Year 1943. If you can find that somewhere, probably worth reading, though it won't inspire much in the way of optimism.

Bonhoeffer's "theory of stupidity," is taken from a section of that essay, although it's called "folly" in the book I have. You can find a pdf of that section here. I'm inclined to prefer the word "folly" as it lacks the pejorative valence (As in "charge." Then why not use "charge"? Because I like "valence." You're not my supervisor, or my editor!) of "stupidity."

Quoting Agent K in the movie, Men In Black, which, disappointingly, doesn't seem to appear in the Quotes page at IMDB, "A person is smart. People are dumb." (Maybe "stupid.") This seems to suggest, as one should always think deeply on the dialogue in motion pictures, that "stupidity" or "folly" is an emergent property, whenever people interact in large numbers.

I think this is correct. It's what I was referring to when I wrote:

Shit happens. Shit is an emergent property of complex, non-linear social systems. It's inherently chaotic. You think you understand what the boundaries of the phase-space are, and the system teaches you otherwise.

Where by "shit," I mean the unwanted, negative, destructive actions and behaviors of individuals acting as agents within a complex, non-linear dynamic system. Basically, anyone working for Elon Musk these days.

Which is why there is little you can do about it. Bonhoeffer writes of "liberation," an external act that "frees" the "fools" from the spell they're under. That's usually a catastrophe. Sometimes referred to by the technical term, "fuck around and find out."

"Stupidity," or "folly" ("shit") is an emergent phenomenon in groups.

Foolish or stupid behavior by an individual is a contingent phenomenon.

Contingent on many things, culture, education, conditioning, trauma, fatigue, diet, anxiety, state of intoxication, many things. But the point is that we are not the "masters of our fate, the captain's of our souls" we flatter ourselves to be. Please see the Milgram experiment. Also the present behavior of all the government employees who are allowing Musk and his script-kiddies to do as they please.

Bonhoeffer has much to say about such people, but that's for another post.

All of which is to say, it's not deterministic. The word I was searching for this morning, and alarmed that I could not recall at my command, and mostly prompted this post.

Anyway... We are in a shit-storm. Seek shelter. Damage assessments can wait until after it passes. They will be heart-breaking.

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Further to the Foregoing...

07:42 Thursday, 6 February 2025
Current Wx: Temp: 60.8°F Pressure: 1021hPa Humidity: 94% Wind: 3.44mph
Words: 92

That's what I get for searching the interwebs and IMDB before being adequately caffeinated in the morning.

The movie I clicked on was MIB^3 (superscript 3), which I failed to notice. It explains why I didn't find the quote I was looking for. Since I was just using the in-page search function in Safari, I didn't actually read any of the quotes, or I'd have noticed something was amiss.

Anyway, the relevant quotation is: "A person is smart. People are dumb."

I guess a person can be dumb sometimes too.

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